KIT 'N CONFETTI

If any door, drawer, or cupboard is left even slightly ajar (which they all are - thanks, earthquake damage!), Beeker sticks his inquisitive little paw in there and proceeds to pull out everything within his pesky little reach.

Yesterday, for instance, while I was at work, he discovered some confetti deep within the crotch of my antique rolltop desk and enjoyed strewing it gaily about the living room. So now there are little shiny, multicolored suns, moons, stars, whoopity-doos (whatever you call those curly streamer things) and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!-shaped pieces all over tarnation. I even woke up with an electric blue HAPPY BIRTHDAY! stuck to my butt.

It is not my birthday.

Sometimes, I think Bee is my own personal little ray of sunshine sent down from Heaven* to pee in my shoe.

*possibly as punishment for peeing in God's robes or something, and then attempting to cover Him with the floor (clouds).

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING...

Sometimes,I sleep really, really hard. Like, I won't even wake up if you shake me. Or, say, if the house burns down. It makes me no difference, don't pay me and my charred remains no mind.

Young Beeker may be taking advantage of that fact. The other morning, I woke up with a scratch on my cheek and a wet leg.

I'm guessing he tried to rouse me with a gentle, batting motion, then busted out the claws. When that didn't work, he whizzed on my leg.

I think I need a rubber sheet.

The End.

BEEKER'S FAVE NEW TOY

I am not even shittin' y'all.

Somehow, I don't think this will be making it into the Metropolitan Museum of Art.